Fall in love or fall in hate..

...Get inspired or be depressed,
Ace a test or flunk a class,
Make babies or make art,
Tell the truth or lie and cheat,
Dance on a table or sit in the corner,
Life is divine chaos,
Embrace it,
Forgive yourself,
Breathe and enjoy the ride."

Instead of holding back and refusing to let go of the past, I've decided to look forward and on the bright side of every single situation.  It'll be hard, I realize this.
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I haven't been sick for 3 or 4 years, I mean I get allergies, headaches, and what-not, but not fever, chills, weakness, all that jazz.  My LAST game of my high school basketball career ever and I have a fever and feel like death. I didn't tell coach because I wanted to play, man was that a bad idea. For the past three days I've had a fever and body aches. =/  I guess karma is a B, cause I always say "I never get sick!" ya, look what happens.
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"If I ask something, will yo please be completely honest? like 100%."

"Yes ma'am"

"Is any of this easy for you?"

"Yes because I don't let myself get emotionally attached to people."

--That was a slap in the face.--

"Will you someday tho? Allow yourself to actually genuinely care for someone? To open up and give them your everything?"

"Yes, some day in a non- high school relatinship."

I have never been hurt so much before.  I was ready for him to say something rude..but not this low. 
I've finally realized that he never cared, nor will he ever. So I should stop trying and thinking that it'll somehow work.
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So off to being lonley. That's what I do best. (:

Sunday nights...

are my vent nights..They're the only nights when I have time to do anything.
Its 7:39 and almost everyone in america and their dog is watching the Super Bowl.  I don't care too much for pro football, I like college. Most of all, I like basketball. March Madness is where it's at! (:
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I went to school for one day this week, it was amazinngg. There was a terrible storm monday night, rained cats and dogs and we almost had a tornado it was so windy. After that, the temperature dropped majorly and all of the ice froze. So as you've probably guessed, all the roads were a solid sheet of ice. Lootsss and lots of accidents and stupid people out on the roads. My dad was one of them,  rain or snow he has to go to work.  He kinda has an important job, putting people to sleep for surgery and stuff like that, kinda crucial.
I went to my best friend Taylor's house tuesday night then she came over wednesday and stayed till saturday. We had a blast. All of our days consisted of sleeping in and stuffing our faces. It was wonderful (: Very relaxing.
Saturday we had a game and we lost to Jacksboro, what a shame. We could of won. We should of won actually. But ya know, stuff happens. That night Taylor, Bandy, (the guy taylor is talking to) and I went to City Limits in Stephenville and the most fun I've had in a long time. We got there around 8 and left at 1. I promise you we didn't sit down for more than two songs in a row and sweated our butts off. At least we were burning calories AND having fun (: Makes it so worth it.
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This week shall bring parents night tomorrow, basketball game, LAST basketball game tuesday ): Mani and pedi wednesdayy (: and then idk what else. I haven't looked forward to so many fun filled days before in awhile. I'm happy.

"Trip over love, you can get up.  Fall for love and you fall forever."

I've been in an amazing mood lately.  I have no clue what has caused all this happiness but I absoutly love it. This morning was beautiful, 55degrees and sunny. I sat on Blair's porch with her cute dog, Littlebit, drank coffee, and thought about how I can't wait to have a place of my own.  My room isn't very decorated but I love to decorate things.  Sometimes I get in these crafty moods and go all out, spend a lot of money that should be saved.
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This past week was useless, a complete waste of my time. 
Tuesdays and thursdays I literally have three classes and the rest I sleep in.
I love to sleep.  If I don't have at least two cups of coffee in the morning and one nap a day, I'm a bitty.  But I was thinking the other day, sleeping takes a lot of time out of your day..so I thought that I should probably cut my nap time in half. ): I'm a night owl and hate getting up in the morning.
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We have three more games left of the '10 -'11 Peaster basketball season. (:
I have become so close to my teammates this year, definitely closer than I ever thought. They're like sisters to me, I've learned so much about them and each one of them is totally different.  I didn't think I would say this, but I'm going to miss my girls so much when the season is over and I'm not in off-season and esp. when I graduate.
I hope I've been a good leader for them, that was one of my main goals this year.  I know Shiloh, Loren, and Sarah will be extraordinary team leaders and be good role models for the younger classmen.
Team bonding last night was so much fun! I love these girls to death.
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This week brings more boredom, awkwardness, cold rainy weather, and senior night. (:

I'm learning to live half alive.

"You're gonna catch a cold with all the ice inside your soul."

Ian Coalson.  The boy I feel in love with.  The boy who has changed so much since I first met him.  The boy who has no clue what he's missing.  The boy who doesn't even know what makes him happy in life.  The boy who continues to amaze me every day and that no matter how much I want to shake him off, I can't.
I've tried to see other guys, go out and party, stay up late reading, or actually do homework, but all everything does is lead back to him. I have no clue why he has this effect on me.
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It's absoutly heart breaking when someone you care for so much and would do anything for doesn't show an ounce of affection back.
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He wants Shiloh Jenkins.  She is one heck of a girl, extremely smart, pretty, and has the world at her fingers.  She is also madly in love with Brenton Lee, and has been for like 3years.  I don't understand why he would give up something so great for someone who doesn't even acknowledge he's alive.

Basketball
I just typed a long paragraph about the whole ordeal.  But I decided that I could get in a lot of trouble if someone read it.
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I've debated going to school looking like crap because I feel like crap and unwanted, or if I should look hot as hell and rub everything in his face.

Thats all for tonight.
<3

Hello Blog world.

I'm new to this whole blog ordeal but as many have said, it's a good place to vent, share thoughts, and feelings. I'm making a bet now, maybe 1 person will read them.  Thats okay, because I'd rather them go unread.

10:56 on a school night. Past my bedtime by two hours, poor Caitlyn.

There is so much going on in my jambled up brain.  Way too much to even comprehend at this moment.
Goodnight.